I never studied dance as a child. In fact, I took my first ballet class at 19, just after I moved to Southern California. I was in love with ballet, and deeply longed to be a professional dancer someday. I knew the odds were against me, but I believed if I worked at it, anything was possible.
Then life took several unexpected turns. Over the next many years, I experienced a couple of car accidents and debilitating health challenges.
I kept returning to class on occasion, but had to keep stopping after a few classes. There were long periods that stretched into years, where I wasn’t able to dance at all.
I believed I would dance again and even kept my ballet slippers tucked in a drawer for many years.
And then one day, I just gave up — and threw my shoes in the trash.
I created Lost Dreams Ballet Shoes as a way to express my broken heart as I let go.
But wait the story doesn’t end here…
During my recovery, I began creating artwork. No matter what I painted, whether it was an abstract, a figurative piece, or an actual painting of a dancer, my love for movement, energy and dance shone through.
And, while my heart had given up dancing, apparently my spirit had not.
Last year, I attended my first ballet class, in 28 years.
At first when I started to get inner urgings to explore the idea of dancing again, my response was “you want me to do what now?” “You’ve got to be kidding.”
In order to enjoy dancing again I would have to approach it in a new way. Could I connect to feeling like a dancer, no matter what I looked like when I danced?
Even though I was nervous and scared at first, I let my feelings of love compel me. I discovered that what matters most is how I feel while I’m dancing. When I dance, it lights up everything else.
There is a beauty and freedom that comes when you do something you love just for the pleasure, joy and experience.
I’m becoming stronger and I’m surprised at my progress. And on those days when it is particularly challenging and I am learning new steps, I remind myself why I took such a risk and reopened my heart – for the beauty, freedom and exhilaration of feeling like a dancer again.
May you discover or rediscover something old or new big or small that you do just for the love of it – and just for yourself.